A Gift From the Water

I was baptized today. I was told and I felt that it would be a transforming experience. Some said they saw rainbows when they rose from the water. Some said the grass looked greener. Some said the Holy Spirit would make itself known to me in a powerful way. I didn't know what to expect for myself. I just knew that it was going to be good.

This morning I literally woke up to the sound of rain on my window. I had been feeling a little anxious so I prayed for calmed nerves wanting to be able to fully enjoy this experience and I feel like that helped a lot. I got up and had breakfast. I got dressed. I drove to church and attended Sunday School. I changed into the white robe that was provided for me; all with a smile on my face. No clammy hands and no shaking. I was led into the sanctuary and then into the water without the thought of the many people who had come to see me. Without the thought that I might look stupid like I did before, when I was a child. I saw all the white around me and the lights as a sense of peace saturated me. I was plunged into the water and brought back up. Soaking wet, I stood there and cried.

As I began to climb out of the water, it was then that I stopped to think about all the people that were there to see me. I also thought about the familiar faces I saw every Sunday and I stopped to wave. I smiled and waved to the crowd.

I changed out of my wet clothes and went back to sit with my friends. I was happy. I was glad I did it but I didn't see the immediate transformation... I hadn't seen rainbows. I thought for a second or two that maybe I had done something wrong. Maybe my heart wasn't opened wide enough. I didn't see anything about the sanctuary that looked different and I had been feeling the Holy spirit a long time before I went into the water. Anyway, I made my way to my seat and closed my eyes during praise and worship. I felt complete comfort standing in that room; that was when I realized what that water brought me…

confidence |ˈkänfədəns; -fəˌdens|
noun
• the state of feeling certain about the truth of something

Fear has always been an issue for me. Ask anyone who's known me six months or more. I don't like scary movies or spiders. I don't sing loud enough for anyone to hear and I don't like change. I probably won't watch scary movies but the spiders don't bother me too much. I sang in church and I am embracing the change in my life. God has given me many useful tools to fulfill my work but I feel like the confidence I received today is one of the most important. I'm comfortable being me. Im a woman of God and know the truth about who I am.

I can feel certain that I will make mistakes and I am certain that I will be able to learn from them. I am positive that I'm beautiful no matter what because my inner light will always shine the brightest. This is the day that the lord has made, I am glad in it.