Dear Boston, We are praying for you.

I usually only have one day off a week, Monday. So Sunday, I drew up plans for my day off. Wake up late (9am) and do some studying. Go to the gym, have lunch, take a nap, do some more reading, cook dinner and go see a friend; all before choir rehearsal at 7pm. I didn’t plan to have news of an unexpected tragedy and accompanied by endless emotions.

I woke up unexpectedly early to take my sister to school. It was rainy and I love rainy days, as long as I don’t have to get out of bed, so much for that. I’m not all that experienced with redeveloping my days’ format on the spot when something unscheduled happens. The frustration typically starts at this point but I tried my best to go along with the flow of the day. I went back home and sat in the comfy chair reading, waiting to doze back off. That didn’t happen. My best friend and roommate decided to take the day off too. Happy to have her company we had breakfast together and watched an exciting episode of my favorite TV show before I actually did fall asleep in our comfy chair.

I woke up mid-afternoon and decided to tackle a job that’s been on my to-do list for some time. The bookshelf took about an hour and a half to put together (it’s still laying face down on my bedroom floor) and I was proud to have done it, especially when all I wanted to do was lay in bed. We then decided to take a trip to the thrift store and were headed out the door when she gave me the news of the Boston Marathon Bombing. She was informed by a friend via text. My first reaction has become my usual reaction over the last few years, again?

As the day went on and I was exposed to more detail about the marathon bombing and I began to think, better yet, feel. For the first time I could feel the sadness. I was always sorry to hear about an event like this but this time I really could feel it. I couldn’t stop my mind from putting me in the position of the people who were there at the race and had planned their days just as I had planned mine. How it must have been to be there and hear the screams, the blood and the tears.

I came to the realization that as I get more and more familiar with the concept of we are all one the more I feel in the way of compassion and empathy. I lost a friend in the Virginia Tech shootings and was moved by that naturally but it’s experiencing the pain of those I don’t know that is new to me, as rough and insensitive as that sounds.

Choir rehearsal ran a few minutes over last night. I was among the many that had been watching their clocks for the last thirty minutes of it. When our pianist mentioned the bombing and that we should all be in prayer for those that were involved, I felt a nudge to come together in prayer at that moment.

I got a few bad looks from those ready to go home but I know that in the end they felt better about themselves and the situation afterward. The power of unity is undeniable to me these days.  Two or more coming together for a common cause is where it’s at, if you didn’t know. I do from experience. I’m more appreciative and thankful today.

Boston, our thoughts, well wishes and blessings are with you today. We are praying for you.

I say..

Good writers write everyday they say. Write when and where you can they say. Well I say, I'm old enough to start following good advice when I hear it.

Writing is always something I would love to do for a living. I've heard that a true writer will not be fully satisfied doing anything else but writing. I totally resonate with that. I have, and am working through a bit of a commitment issue (It's taken me a long time to come to a place where I can say that shame free) and part of my breakthrough is committing to write. I'm currently reading Dr. Brené Brown's Daring Greatly; so far she is everything everyone has hollered about and on target.

I've been writing for as long as I was able but until I started this blog a couple years ago, I didn't share with anyone really. A few close friends knew but I never stuck with anything. I'd start a book and not finish. I'd write a song and actually sing it around the house but after I heard a few snickers, I didn't do that anymore. I'm a couple months away from being 27-years-old and I have completed a screenplay and started on another, written numerous songs and poems and have shared them with a small handful of my good friends and family. I don't want to live in the shadows. That is, not coming from an ego place but a place of wanting to do all I've come to earth to do. Share my story and relate to others through relationship and communication. I've been terrified to share myself with the world. Anxious about whether or not I'll be liked or accepted. In a previous blog I wrote about putting my pride aside and being fearless. That was only one layer of the everyday growing and learning Ericka.

I believe in my heart and soul that I can now step out. I can show my tender skin and not stay covered by the thick textured armor the world helped me build over time. Vulnerability will be my teacher and friend and I will work hard to thrive in an environment that only sees it as a weakness.

Do what you love and love what you do, life is too short not to. That’s just what I say.

Trust

Life is good. I may not fully understand why things happen the way they do but I'm thankful for that. If I knew the answer behind every question I'd go crazy. With a little reflection and inward looking; I find the answers I need, nothing more or less.

My life as I know it is full. Lacking nothing, yet having the potential for everything. I'm confident that the majority of us could say the same. You would have to take the time to look at the positive aspects of our lives and stop focusing on the seemingly prominent and brightly colored negatives. Yes, they seem to show themselves at the most inopportune times but I believe it's my duty to doubt less and hope for more. And all while knowing that in the end all is as it should be. I don't want to foolishly distrust the creator of the universe anymore. I am practicing a trust that gives credit to the fact that life has been going on for thousands of years without failing to succeed or exist.

No anxiety, no worries…that is my heaven. A path lit by love and light…those are my streets of gold. A place where all are welcome no matter who or what they are; where forgiveness is a virtue and hospitality the norm…those are my pearly gates and that is my home.

I will not focus on the negative when I know there is much more positive. I will not roll my eyes. I will not doubt your dreams. I will not think less of you and point my long, honey brown finger.

I'm growing and learning…that is a good life.